A reflection on biking hills, living life, etc.
I began to get interested in the Sabbath last summer when a friend and I found ourselves walking around Vancouver one night after sundown. We'd sought after a somewhat faulty Evening Primrose Bush at dusk and were walking the long way home when she mentioned that that Sabbath ends when the first three stars can be seen in the night sky. Using the night sky as a time piece to set about or end a practice intrigued me, and when the opportunity to practice it came about a few months later, I was primed.
That opportunity arrived in a book called Judaism's 10 Best Ideas, which I picked up at the library this winter. It suggested five "to do's" and five "not to do's" in observing the Sabbath in today's world. I've listed my slightly modified version of those suggestions below.
I've been practicing since the end of January, missing one week due to a trip (ironically, to visit the same friend in Vancouver!). I've found the practice thoroughly worthwhile. I look forward to it every week. It doesn't feel at all like following rules, but rather being gifted a reprieve from the demands of everyday life. I'm always a little sad when it ends and also comforted to know that nothing, except my lack of prioritization, will keep it from coming around next week. I've had experiences that would've never happened had I not allowed myself to be still, and my brain enjoys the break. I try to keep the Sabbath from Friday at sundown until Saturday at sundown, but some weekends I've made it Saturday sundown to Sunday sundown due to difficulties with scheduling. I'm okay with that flexibility, but I'm trying my best to not compromise on the full 24 hour commitment.
I am not Jewish, but the book I read suggested that I didn't need to be, so I feel okay about it. YMMV
Five Do's
Do commemorate and bless the Sabbath with candles at the beginning and end. Use candles that feel special and only use them for commemorating the beginning and end of the Sabbath period. I google "shabbat times Seattle" to know when to light them.
Do stay at home. As a general rule stay close to home (nature/neighborhood walks are okay IMO) and only leave when doing so would mean honoring another one of the Sabbath do's or don'ts, like...
Do spend time with friends and family. Make an intentional effort to see friends and family. This also includes being extra neighborly, even if that means smiling or waving with intention to people as they drive by.
Do read things that edify, challenge, or make you grow. Walk to the library (or your bookshelf if it's too far), pick any books that appeal to you (as I did when I found the book on Judaism in the first place), carry as many as you possibly can home, and leaf through (or dive into) them throughout the day.
Do spend time alone. Even in the company of others, use some time in the day to be by yourself, reflect on the previous week, and contemplate where you are in your life.
Five Don'ts
Don't work. This includes reading books that seem interesting but are ultimately related to work, discussing work, and even thinking about working. Think of this rule as the one that lets your brain rest.
Don't use screens. Power down laptops, iPhones, tablets, tvs and don't turn them back on until after Sabbath is over. This is a bit risky in that you may not be able to be contacted (I'm okay with that and it's a huge relief for my brain and attention muscles). Do what feels right for you.
Don't consume packaged entertainment. Avoid movies, television, podcasts, and music. Spend time in the yard, play, create art, make up games, read, have conversations, meditate, cook, and/or simply sit and think to entertain yourself.
Don't buy things. Don't spend any money on Sabbath. (I make two personal exceptions here: The first exception would be to give someone money if they desperately needed it (this hasn't happened to me yet). The second exception is to participate in the farmer's market. I thought significantly about this and came to the conclusion that the FM, which in my neighborhood falls on the Sabbath, is important enough to my life to make an exception. I've deemed it okay to spend money there as long as those transactions are treated in the spirit of community and relationship building.)
Don't travel. There will be times where this is unavoidable, but when it's not, travel only by foot. Experience the world at walking pace, or even slower.
BONUS DO
Make your own list of guidelines for how you want to incorporate and honor a day of rest into your week.
BONUS Don't
Don't be a perfectionist about any of these guidelines. If you mess up or end up, for example, talking about work for an hour before you realize it's probably not a Sabbath-sort of conversation, simply acknowledge that and move on.
I'm currently reading David Levy's book, Mindful Tech: How to Bring Balance to Our Digital Lives, and doing the exercises recommended. The first exercise is called "Observing Email" and it instructs you to check email for a dedicated length of time (like 20 or 30 minutes), log observations you make, create personal guidelines from those observations, and then share what you learn, which is what I'm doing today.
Last week, I logged eight sessions across four days, which was over four hours of email time. I quite enjoyed logging my experience, especially during the first five sessions. I was less disciplined with ending my email checking in the last three sessions — I'd reach inbox zero and then keep email open instead of closing it and proceeding to another activity.
Here's a samplE of some of the observations I made:
Doing email feels like whack-a-mole.
Find myself in the middle of an urgent series of tasks: see something opportune, schedule it, inform the person of my commitment, repeat.
Feeling pressure to say yes to all the people that have requested my time.
When I dread the contents of an email, I want to postpone it/snooze it/do other things.
I need a notepad beside me while I check email to write down things I need to remember so I stay in email.
Feeling trepidation at responding to one email and therefore the recipient knowing I'm available and needing to respond to their other emails.
I am not at all paying attention to my body or posture.
Felt the desire to go to Facebook immediately after opening a message I was avoiding opening.
And here's a list of things I learned about myself:
I am in and out of my calendar a lot during email. It's hard to do email without it because many emails are about scheduling.
There are lots of things that can take me off task while in my inbox, especially newsletters and social updates that link to the internet.
Checking email can emotionally derail me.
Sometimes I dread email when the reality of my inbox is actually not dreadful.
I have a tendency to avoid emails that are long and complex and prefer to keep the ball in the air with shorter, more manageable email volleys.
Sometimes email involves using a number of different devices and websites.
Emails come in tides and waves. Sometimes they accumulate quickly, other times they seem to trickle in.
Email seems to be an emotionally "felt" experience for me, even though I have a hard time noticing my posture, breath, or physical senses.
The exercise also instructs you to read over your observations and synthesize them into guidelines. For me, this was the most helpful part.
Here are the guidelines I came up with:
My email craft* requires certain tools:
a good calendaring app that does not require me to exit email to schedule things
a notepad and pen for jotting down tasks so that I can stay in email instead of following up on every task right away
my mobile device handy for certain information needs (sometimes optional)
a mouse because I enjoy using one (sometimes optional)
Email can be an emotionally volatile space. I must notice my emotional state before opening my inbox and agree to the likelihood it may be altered by what I find (otherwise, I should check email at a different time).
To keep distractions at bay, I need to close my email once I've achieved inbox zero and re-open it with intention.
When people or newsletters email me things I'd like to explore, make a note of it instead of exploring right away. Similarly, when people request I do something, it's okay to make a note to do it and then email them to say I'll get back to them later.
Treat lengthy or complex emails (or emails I must write but don't exactly know how to) as I do anything else I'd typically avoid: get them out of the way first, using a pomodoro if necessary.
I found this exercise not only fun, but also enlightening. I recommend it and am already considering observing social media time using the same methods.
* A note about craft: Levy argues that we should consider our digital life a craft like we consider woodworking or playing a sport. That it requires practice, certain tools, and refinement. There's an entire chapter about this coming up, so I'll likely blog more about it later, but I love the idea.